Why is it that the father and daughter bond isn’t as highlighted as father and son or mother and son, why isn’t society more accepting of a healthy and happy relationship between a father and his daughter? Is it because in most cultures having a daughter means that you have been given a burden to “deal” with, or that you don’t have an heir to carry out your family name? I don’t understand the mentality behind these ideals, you have a mother who birthed you, a wife who takes care of you and your household, and other female relations in your life, but having a daughter is not acceptable? My father is blessed with four daughters and no son, ever since I can remember there have been constant remarks from relatives and acquaintances on how bad they feel that our father doesn’t have a son. Obviously my father is human and, we always want what we can’t have, but he also doesn’t let it impact him that he doesn’t have a son, if anything he says he is grateful he doesn’t, because he wouldn’t know what to do if his son disrespected him or abandoned him.
The bond between a father and his daughter(s) is that of love, strength, protection, and confidence in each other. The relationship between my father and I hasn’t been perfect, we have had our trial and tribulations, but we are at a much better place, since I became a parent myself. He is still a little rough around the edges, but I have come to understand him better. My father has always been a hard-working man, and he always gives us as much as he can. But, life hasn’t been easy for him, he lost his father when he was just stepping into adolescence, and started working along with his other brothers to provide for his family, and then he lost two siblings, who he was closest to. He also suffered a minor heart attack after his older brother passed away. My father liked to give us whatever we wanted, as long as it was reasonable. He always took Sunday off to get the groceries and just spend time at home.
It is inevitable not to pick up certain traits from your parents, I know I get my need to clean and have everything in order from my father, my temperament, and our distaste to liars, where we completely lose all faith in that person to be honest again. There are some traits I have picked up that contribute to my parenting, I’m very protective of my son, my father has a saying in Urdu every time he sees me go into protective mode, ” dekh sherni uth gayi hai (look, the lioness has woken up)”. I also have the same disciplinary tone as my father, and I’m not a coddling parent, I tell my son like it is and I don’t give him special treatment in front of company.
My father has taught us to be honest, no matter how hard it is, just to tell the truth. He’s always been strict about our education because he believes no matter what happens, if we get married or not, we should be able to provide for ourselves, and shouldn’t have to rely on anyone else. Growing up he used to make us work with him either at his store or on the weekends cleaning up and doing DIY projects around the house because he wanted us to be proficient enough to run our own household. He always had that tought love approach with all of us because he wanted us to be prepared for what the world was going to throw at us. He taught us that just because we are girls it doesn’t mean that we are weak, we are just as strong or stronger than men. He is our confidant, whenever we need any honest advice, he is always there for us 24/7.
He is the lion, and we are his cubs.
-Ramblings of a Virgo
It’s only when you grow up and step back from him — or leave him for your own home — it’s only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it.” — Margaret Truman